you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now
by spencergaystings
Summary: He hates that he has to go this far and this low to protect that girl. The girl he loves. But he doesn't regret it. He can't. Not when he needs to help this broken, lost girl he's so in love with. Post 3x12. One-shot.


Oh. my. fucking. God. I just. Oh my God. Did I say OH MY GOD? WHAT WAS THAT EPISODE OFMSLGFKJSDLGJSLÇGTKRÇSTWSHL ~HÇFLD~L. I must say I've been crying since the episode ended like, 10pm yesterday, and I've been listening to Safe & Sound by Taylor Swift on repeat because it's a Spoby song (yes it is, you can check, I'm no liar.) so I refuse to think that Toby is -A. I think he's just working from inside to help the girls, like he pretended to hate Spencer in S2. I love my babies Spoby and I love my bby Toby to think their relationship is a lie :'(. So yeah, this one-shot is based on Taylor's "Safe And Sound", and I'm just so depressed I can't even. Ok ugh fml. Enjoy.

* * *

_I remember tears streaming down your face_

_when I said "I'll never let you go."_

_When all those shadows almost killed your light._

_I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone."_

_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight._

He missed Spencer. So much he thought he was going to die. He needed to see her, to at least know, be sure, that what he was up to was a good thing. That it was worth it. Toby doesn't know what exactly is going to happen once she found out, but he's willing to lose her trust if it meant protecting her.

He loves her. So, _so much. _He doesn't know what he would ever do if these people, these hateful, evil people take her away from him. _For good. _Spencer is the light that guides him through his darkness. He's sure she's _it - _The love of his life.

When he saw her at the other side of the street, he felt a pang on his chest. He loves her so much.

When she runs to him and brokenly whispers to him, begging him to never leave her, he cracks. This girl is worth ot. She's worth the fight. He'll risk everything to protect this girl.

He'll fight monsters and demons if it meant she was going to be okay. If it meant Spencer wouldn't be the girl with the broken smile anymore.

_Just close your eyes,_

_the sun is going down._

_You'll be alright. _

_No one can hurt you now._

_Come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound._

On the way over to her house, they're walking hand in hand. Spencer is telling him about everything that happened to her while he was away, and he's frowning and nodding his head sadly while he listens to her telling him about Emily and Paige, about Maya's website, about the snake, about UPenn, about _how she's scared. _He gulps, trying to avoid the tears. This secret he's keeping from her could help her, could save her. But it could also ruin her.

And he loves this girl that's leaning onto him, sighing happily and loving him and trusting him.

She looks kind of affected by his silence, so he looks at her, making sure she could see the love in his eyes, and he kisses the top of her head, closing his eyes and inhaling her flowery scent. If he ever come to a point in his plan in which they had to part ways, he would remember her smell, the way she felt in his arms.

When she lead him up the stairs towards her bedroom, he sighed. Last time they were up here, he didn't feel like a betrayer. He was happy, clean. Spencer holds him tighter, as if begging him silently to be there with her in that moment.

They sat on her red couch, and she straddles him, kissing him hotly and lovingly, and he kisses her back, forcing all the thoughts away, focusing on the now and then.

_"Are you sure?" _he asks when he feels her playing with his belt loops.

He almost wishes she wasn't. But he couldn't. He neede to feel her, to know they were connected somehow. To make sure this was real. Selfishly thinking, he almost forgot that she chould regret this later.

No, he couldnt hurt her this way. _No. _"Yes." she panted and he smiled.

_Oh Spence, _he thought as the both of them walked over to her bed, as he locked eyes with her, watching her peaceful and loving face as he undid her shirt, _I'm so sorry._

But he loves her. He meant it. _This - _this moment, them, _now. - _was real. He _loves _her.

And he will fight for her. He would _kill _if it meant she would be safe.

_Don't you dare look out your window_

_Darling, everything's on fire. _

_The war outside our door keeps raging on._

_Hold on to this lullaby,_

_Even when the music's gone._

_Gone._

When she said she loved him, he couldn't help the smile that was form on his face. _She finally said it. _

_And she probably wouldn't if she knew what you are now, _a voice reminded Toby. He kissed her with all the passion he could and looked at her lovingly.

_Dear, sweet Spence. How broken you are? _he thought with angst, looking down at those sweet, troubled mocha eyes. He kisses her forehead and hugs her, and he almost gives up on everything when she hugs him just as tightly. _My love, I'll protect you, I promise. _He holds her closer and sighs, taking in her scent, yet again, needing to be here with her, to make sure she was okay, to love her again and again. The love of his life.

She once told him he was her safe place to land, and he knows things aren't aways rainbows and sunshine to Spencer. She was broken even before the storm. He knew, she needed him, and he needed her too. So, _so much. _He pulls away and holds her hand, looking at her again.

_You are my everything, _he wanted to say.

But he doesn't. Because he can't do this to her. Not now. So he just walks towards the door and smiles softly at her, before leaving.

And when he gets to his truck, he cries.

He cries because she's his safe place to land, too. And he might just lose her forever trying to keep his safe place, _safe._

_Just close your eyes,_

_the sun is going down._

_You'll be alright,_

_no one can hurt you now._

_Come morning light,_

_you and I'll be safe and sound._

He hates Mona. He hates the way she keeps calling his girlfriend, the love of his life, a "bitch". He hates that she's sitting on Spencer's side of his truck. He just hates it.

But he knows why he's doing this. He's sure this, attacking from the inside and helping the girls - this is a good plan. Not safe, but good.

He looks out his truck's window and sees Emily hugging Hanna. He sees Aria and Spencer.

_His Spencer_, who has tears in her eyes, looks at the place where his truck is safely hidden so he can watch them, so she doesn't see him with a cold look on his face, feeling sick and she doesn't see Mona on _her _sit.

He admires the view of Spencer, this girl he would give the world to. And he feels this animal feeling of hatred for anyone who made her this way. Turn that girl he met when he was 11, before Alison happened, that girl that wore pink dresses everyday, that he always saw with a book in hands, that girl he thought was cute but was too shy to talk to her, turn that cute little girl into this broken, lost girl. He hates that he has to go this far and this low to help that girl. The girl he loves. But he doesn't regret it.

Because Toby loves Spencer, and that's enough reason for him.

_Just close your eyes,_

_you'll be alright,_

_come morning light,_

_You and I'll be safe and sound._


End file.
